I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
This always bugged me about sports fans.
"NEEEERD!" "You, sir, are wearing cheese."
Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.
Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”
“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”
“How about me?”
He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”
She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
THE SARCASM IN THIS POST IN LETHAL