Text 24 Jul 21,162 notes

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

via caribou.
Photo 24 Jul 111,939 notes

(Source: brucelovesyou)

via caribou.
Photo 24 Jul 116,871 notes phoenix:

This always bugged me about sports fans.
"NEEEERD!"  "You, sir, are wearing cheese."

phoenix:

This always bugged me about sports fans.

"NEEEERD!"  "You, sir, are wearing cheese."

(Source: hawk222)

Video 24 Jul 1,408 notes

callsigntheslayer:

You’re a wee, little puppet man!

Photo 24 Jul 1,807 notes rob-oconnor:

Society6
Shaun of the Dead by R0b0C
Quote 23 Jul 58,424 notes

Careful, honey, it’s loaded,” he said, reentering the bedroom.

Her back rested against the headboard. “This for your wife?”

“No. Too chancy. I’m hiring a professional.”

“How about me?”

He smirked. “Cute. But who’d be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?”

She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.

“Your wife.

— "Bedtime Story" by Jeffrey Whitmore  (via meandrous)

(Source: talesofnorth)

Video 23 Jul 7,179 notes
Text 23 Jul 503,694 notes

leftforbed:

leftforbed:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

why would the movie eat my popcorn

nevermind i get it

Photo 23 Jul 112,673 notes controlledchaos18:

that-big-gay-impala:

THE SARCASM IN THIS POST IN LETHAL

Women Mothers

controlledchaos18:

that-big-gay-impala:

THE SARCASM IN THIS POST IN LETHAL

Women Mothers

(Source: teallikethecolor)

Text 23 Jul 430,018 notes

ladragonaria:

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough


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